Argo Hellenic Cafe Restaurant - Review

I have a vivid imagination and could quite easily describe my vision of a smart Greek eatery on the main drag of the up’n’up Port. Long wide dark timber floors greet you as you push the small heritage shopfront door into a lengthy dining room. An olive skinned person smiles as they usher you to a table on the long softly textured wall which hangs tasteful vistas of the Aegean or Mykonos. The lights teeter between eye level and head high as they warmly comfort your eye toward crisp paper below polished, casually set cutlery and sturdy glassware. Sigh!
I am expectant of some clean Greek flavours with hearty meat options, this is mostly my optimism kicking in as the menu is light on adjectives. The bare minimum is committed to enticing us into our choices, although I know the potential of each of the Mezede and Entree. If all goes well our wallets could get away with a sneaky Greek feast! The dips of our choice were good, pita warm and servings enough to keep you interested yet contented. The Skordalia, potato garlic dip was smooth and powerful. The litmus test of any Greek Restaurant the Tzatziki was thick and crisply flavoured with correct pungency. A new experience for our table was the Kopanisti, a Creamy fetta laden with olive and chilli. So simple and effective. A small stack of handmade Dolmades, seasoned rice filled vine leaves and the Loukaniko Cyprus, Grilled Cyprus Sausage were both heat and serve options and survived the journey. The pickled Octopus, Octapodi Xidato was a let down to our start, lacking any pickled quality at all. I am more confident now that we have overcome the initial shock of our arrival to Hellenic Argo. It was a little different to what I’d imagined. Our host has a very awkward way of interacting and he seems to be alone tonight in his role as maitre d’, head waiter and barman. There is only one Indian chef (?) and no grandma’s to be seen. The dining room is extremely harshly lit, almost equal lux with an electronics assembly line. We are seated smack in the middle of a pretty much empty dining room which was not exactly the most hospitable move, seeing as more cosy options were available.
Let’s be clear, “Rustic” food is not a magical cloak to hide your culinary sins. Rustic just happens to be the outcome of centuries old tradition unchanged by progressing trends or haughty flings. Rustic is unwavering commitment to what clearly works. The Moussaka ($16.5), layered eggplant, potato mince and cheese was neatly presented in an earthenware dish which added a lovely method of spooning out the piping hot ingredients. The lamb ($19.5) was carrying scars of a char grill with fresh volcanic rock, dusty, smoky and definitely overcooked. The reverse treatment was administered to the Quail which was taken up with management by a distressed punter nearby. Raw and near flight! Traditionally a quail should be medium with plenty of time spent on low heat to permeate the little bones and win the battle with their sinew and relent to the nibbling teeth that wait. We skipped the bird. The fact that our neighbouring diner felt so motivated to talk to the chef about his inadequately cooked dish is definitely a sign. The Braised Baby Goat pieces were still pungent and textural after many hours of heat treatment, however it was on the dry side it must be said. And the solo accompaniment of soggy spuds looked sad as they surrounded the pond of pan juice which had none of the clarity of flavour it required, it was just muddled stock, oil and cooked out herbs. Sorry Sir, Rustic has the night off. I could leave the rest of this short review blank with many readers being clear in their thoughts about what Argo Hellenic has to offer them. Others may ask: Does Argo have potential though? Sadly not in the few good signs or was it whipped into shape by the razor sharp words of an unhappy “Wharfie”. But you could see a place like this becoming popular for the wrong reasons and developing a rough and ready clientele who already know there is not much to offer so treat it thus. The totality of the evening including wine offerings seemed passable upon reflection of the bill, but some of the flavours were not as potent as I clearly remember from tremendous Greek experiences throughout our city and suburbia. If I had to scale this restaurant on some sort of numerical scale I would have to dust off some of the lower digits that rarely get used in this city.


Giles

Note: Next time you are reading the The Local "Rag" check out their numerical scaling system and its obvious inconsistencies!!